divorcedzukka:

i am not immune to a dark haired man’s slutty waist

yuumei-art:

POV: Your Master’s thesis on the quantum mechanics of space cat is due in an hour but it’s also nap time. 

castiellesbian:

otterpuppss:

there is no rat more polite than little truffle

catboycrimsonrain:

anneemay:

Hmmm…

teddytoroa:

teddytoroa:

my advice to you; put a little dijon mustard in any cheesy beige food. whisk it into your cheese sauce just before u add the cooked macaroni. spread a thin layer in your cheese toasties. add a spoonful to your mashed potatoes with the butter. anything thats gonna be heavy on rich dairy and starches will benefit enormously from the hint of warmth and acidity that dijon mustard will give it, even if you don’t add enough to make it Taste Like Mustard (which, ideally, you shouldnt). itll cut through the richness and stop your tastebuds getting fatigue from too much fat&starch, which is important for the overall enjoyment of a dish. ur welcome. take this knowledge and change the world

im still consistently getting notes on this post and i want u guys to know that every single time someone in the tags says they tried this im filled with peace&love. my legacy is teaching the world to put dijon mustard in their mackercheese and i couldnt be happier.

payasita:

scrtchptch:

payasita:

boss makes a dollar I make a dime

flat top grill penis on company time

if you say so, tumblr user nutsacktorturer

im frying all of you on the penis griddle if you don’t cut this shit out right now

royalhandmaidens:

royalhandmaidens:

royalhandmaidens:

royalhandmaidens:

royalhandmaidens:

flying as a hijabi (alone this time) and the guy next to me is talking really loudly about bin laden and killing terrorists and making deliberate eye contact with me the entire time

why are ppl like this???

and it’s only because i’m alone - having a 6’4” bulky built husband usually makes people swallow whatever nasty comments they may have

jokes on him because a flight attendant overheard him and upgraded my seat

go stew in your anger in economy, peasant

flight attendant came and slipped me this, bless her soul

alhamdulillah safely home and very appreciative of the kind flight crew who looked after me

but i do want to take a moment to remind everyone that people with the intention to do evil or make their hate known almost always go after those who are perceived as vulnerable. it’s no surprise to me that things like this happen almost exclusively when i am alone and an easier target. hijabis especially, being so visible. to my hijabi girlies, remember to stay aware of your surroundings and practice safe travel habits. to my friends on here, it pays to be vigilant as well and to help watch the backs of those around you if you’re able

this stuff happens a lot more often than you’d think, unfortunately, and the most we can do is to try and be as safe as we can and watch out for each other

failboyfriend:

charlie brown literally suffers more than jesus christ

500dollarssplit3ways:

500dollarssplit3ways:

500dollarssplit3ways:

it always always makes me laugh to swap definite and indefinite articles

Ugh it’s so hot today, I’m sweating like the pig

W-woah there! You scared a bejesus out of me!